Betrayed

So the one Sgt that I have depended on, my mentor, my friend and the one I wanted to model my career after has decided to abandoned me. She couldn't even tell me in person or on the phone for that matter. No, I got a Facebook message, saying "I cannot describe my hatred for you. You have made my life miserable, and I have never not wanted to see or talk to someone in my entire life...except you" Great way to start off your day, huh? Guess it's time to stand on my own two feet and make my career MY career.

The situation with the in-laws hasn't gotten any better, if anything, it's gotten worse. Not only are they treating me like that toilet bowl of crap I mentioned in my last post, they're treating my fiance' (THEIR OWN CHILD!) the exact same way. There is still stuff in my fiances apartment back in WV, and instead of helping, they've disowned the both of us, and now MY parents are having to clean this apartment out. We're getting DAILY phone calls from them now, telling us we're unreliable, completely irresponsible, all kinds of nasty stuff. I've tried and tried to be nice, but the insults to me are still coming, and NOW they've started to insult my parents who are helping us and I've finally lost it. The worse part of it is after they've spent two solid hours on the phone saying all these nasty things about me, Shelley (my fiance's mother) says "I hope Jen isn't mad at me, because I have nothing against her" and all I can think is "Are you f-ing kidding me? I've just sat here for TWO HOURS listening to you tell me what a piece of shit I am, yeah I'm mad. You may have nothing against Jen, but Jen sure as hell as something against YOU!"

I'm so tired of this. I have no idea what to do about it anymore. I guess the best is just to wait it out

Frustration, and all the crap that goes with it

Sometimes, live just feels like one big toilet of crap. And that's kind of how mine has felt lately. The nightmares are more frequent, the sleep is less and less, the meds are making me sick beyond belief and sometimes the only comfort is my fiance and my dog. Oh, and the PS3.

The soon-to-be in laws are driving me up the f-ing wall, almost literally. I'm crazy, I'm unreliable, I have a weird fungus on my feet (I'm not sure if they know this, but I bet they've said it once or twice)....you name it, and this family has probably said it about me.....but none of it TO me (well, to either of us for that matter) But they're all HAPPY to sit there and smile to my face, and then as SOON as I leave whatever house they're at, let the crucifixtion begin. Stupid stupid people, but I guess it wouldn't be a real engagement if I actually LIKED my in laws, would it?

I feel worse and worse everyday about all of this, certainly not to the point that I'm going to hurt myself or anyone (although I did try to strangle a pillow last night...hmmm I should probably go apologize to it. Oh my God, I'm actually considering apologizing to a pillow....maybe I really am going crazy...no one asked you honey) but still.

Well, one more appointment to go and then I think I'll take good ol' reliable loving Ty to the Bark Park.

Until later I suppose

Biloxi Round 2

How's it going folks? Treatment here...well it could be better. I don't feel as though I've made any progress and am currently fighting the buearacrcy that is the United States Army... we'll see how it goes.

On an up side note, I will be making the trip to Biloxi yet again in a few short weeks. I'm looking forward to the time away from Ft Bragg as well as the opportunity to once again share some laughs with a few friends, as well as help plenty of people who need it. I'll be sure to keep everyone updated.