Frustration, and all the crap that goes with it

Sometimes, live just feels like one big toilet of crap. And that's kind of how mine has felt lately. The nightmares are more frequent, the sleep is less and less, the meds are making me sick beyond belief and sometimes the only comfort is my fiance and my dog. Oh, and the PS3.

The soon-to-be in laws are driving me up the f-ing wall, almost literally. I'm crazy, I'm unreliable, I have a weird fungus on my feet (I'm not sure if they know this, but I bet they've said it once or twice)....you name it, and this family has probably said it about me.....but none of it TO me (well, to either of us for that matter) But they're all HAPPY to sit there and smile to my face, and then as SOON as I leave whatever house they're at, let the crucifixtion begin. Stupid stupid people, but I guess it wouldn't be a real engagement if I actually LIKED my in laws, would it?

I feel worse and worse everyday about all of this, certainly not to the point that I'm going to hurt myself or anyone (although I did try to strangle a pillow last night...hmmm I should probably go apologize to it. Oh my God, I'm actually considering apologizing to a pillow....maybe I really am going crazy...no one asked you honey) but still.

Well, one more appointment to go and then I think I'll take good ol' reliable loving Ty to the Bark Park.

Until later I suppose

Biloxi Round 2

How's it going folks? Treatment here...well it could be better. I don't feel as though I've made any progress and am currently fighting the buearacrcy that is the United States Army... we'll see how it goes.

On an up side note, I will be making the trip to Biloxi yet again in a few short weeks. I'm looking forward to the time away from Ft Bragg as well as the opportunity to once again share some laughs with a few friends, as well as help plenty of people who need it. I'll be sure to keep everyone updated.

Home again...but for how long?

So I'm back home, and the more I sit in Ft Bragg, the more restless I become. I talk to guys from my unit almost daily on Facebook, and its frustrating, because here I am, getting ready to take 16 days for Christmas leave, go see my family and spend time with my brand spankin' new fiance' (YES, congratulate me later) and yet, there they are, sitting in the desert, hoping that maybe they'll get a package from their family, friends, wives, husbands, girlfriends, boyfriends, on time. I can't STAND this anymore. So I'm going back. Voluntarily. This time it'll be Afghanistan. I have the opportunity of leaving as soon at Jan 14th, and I think I may take it. Drop out of the treatment, leave my job, and just go. Because lets face it, who needs me here and what good am I sitting in Ft Bragg NC?

Baby, please, forgive me.....

War and the after effects

So I'm home after my tour in Iraq and am currently in Ft Bragg for treatment for PTSD and despression. And while I am happy to see my friends (or at least the few I've seen) and it's nice to be back in the "real world" I miss my unit and my guys terribly. Leaving them behind is one of the hardest things I've ever had to do in my life, but I had to do what was best for me.

Interesting things happen on Ft Bragg though. Take today for instance. I had the opportunity (and I must admit, the pleasure) of meeting one Gov. Sarah Palin. Folks, let me tell you, you will never meet a more personable, kind and likeable person. Not only did she shake my hand, but gave me a great big hug and thanked me for my service. Always appreciated. I have yet to read her new book, but I just may take a look at it.

I apologize for not updating this blog as I should have and I will be happy to post more on what happened in Iraq and my views on this war and how they've changed now that I've been there (and believe me, they have changed) once I feel up to it. For now, I am tired but wanted to let you know I was alive and safe.

Blessings and peace to you my friends and until we meet again.....

Ready to go....I think

Well, the countdown is down to DAYS (15 to be exact) and I'm somewhere between excited beyond belief....and scared shitless. It's an odd road to be at. Luckily it's normal. People (well, most) have been understanding, patient, and loving. Katherine has even given me plenty of advice on stuff to do and not do. Here are my favorite entry's of Katherine's DOs and DON'Ts of surviving a deployment in Iraq:
1) NEVER smile during a sandstorm
2) Chapstick is a good thing, but make sure you wipe it off before you go to the chow hall. Otherwise, you get a mouth full of sand when you take a drink.
3) Always make sure you tie a plastic bag around your boots when you air them out. Keeps the camel spider's out


I'm sure there will be more to come....


Signing out (For now, anyway)...............

Just keeps getting closer and closer

Well, the time is ticking away until my deployment. I can't believe we're leaving in a matter of WEEKS. It's just unbelievable. So far, my biggest asset, other than my family's love and support, has been the advice of my dear friend Katherine, a former Marine who served a tour over there in '06. Her advice and love has just been UNBELIEVABLE and completely 100% appreciated not to mention invaluable.

So my sister's birthday is this coming Friday, and all weekend was spent going to her play "Wonderful Town" It was great to be able to see her in her final performance.

Well, time to go spend more time with the family. Tick tock......

Floorboard nightmares

Ugh so this house had SO much work that its unbelievable.....the joists were ROTTING the house was just ready to collapse. We had to RAISE it up at least 6 inches, we had to tear up the floor and redo everything. Pictures up soon.....hopefully we can help this woman